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I'M 30!!!! |
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my big day was supposed to start off with a trip to knott's berry farm... |

but the penny-pinching mo-fo's closed the park due to "inclimate weather" - i guess blue skies,
sunshine and white puffy clouds are dangerous for roller coaster riders.... |

so we broke in and TRASHED the place!! |

"once... twice... three times a lady..." |

sons of bitches... muther f*cking sons of bitches.. |

snoopy looks on in horror as i brutally beat and sodomize one of his employees |

so off we went to the racetrack... i should have brought my motion-sickness pills |

speedy Cheryl takes the lead ... |

my driving skills reigned supreme on the slick track as i bumped all competition out of the way! |

i rammed dale's back end and put him out of commision for a while... |

was this the first, second or third time cheryl BEAT DALE'S ASS in the drag race? |

aaawwww yeeaahh... we hit the dance machine for some foot stompin' beats! |

K-dunk-a-dunk and C-master Hey-Hey be flashin they signs... |

with my whitey-inspired rhythm and dale's white man's overbite, we were an unstoppable pair... |

(...ok i'm sorry... how friggin cute do i look in this picture?..) |

kendra shows off her finest JT move (that's "Justin Timberlake" for those of you who don't have your fingers on the pulse of what rocks America) |

oh we were dope dancin' solo... |

but all heads turned when we teamed up to bring the hiz-ouse down with our funky-fly-fresh moves |

...someone's gotta show 'em how it's done... |

here's where things started to get ugly... |

oh yeah. it was a danceoff, ladies and gentlemen.. |

we stretch to get ready for our pumpin moves... |

"WHUU..? |

"Bitch, pleeeze"... "WHA-EVA" |

what's a birthday without a bloody fight over a BJ's pizzookie? |

cameltoe, anyone? |