It took a woman named Sunshine to tame the shrew named Kevin Welch! This was our first visit to Puerto Rico! first stop: the hotel pool! that's the ocean right behind us second stop: the other part of the pool where we did our best "blue steel" third stop: killing dale and dumping his body in the jacuzzi ooohh man, dale LOVES me when i incessantly take pictures and i LOVE my little dale... i was reunited with matt "sparkle scrotum" west during the morning's bacardi rum tour! i knew 3 people at the wedding... dale knew 2... ... so we hung out alone and took pictures of ourselves for 4 days! the latin rhythm inspired these two whiteys from minnesota! (click the picture) aaand back to the hotel for more water sports... dale bruised my arms and legs as he kicked my ass playing "king of the mountain" on this floating slide right outside the hotel room we tried to take in some history around san juan... then we fought off some locals to score a pool table in this crowded, slammin' club i woke up for a morning of yoga and stayed awake for an afternoon of pool bar hopping dale may have been "king of the mountain" but i kicked his ass playing this real man's sport... then i killed him and dumped his body in the ocean we kept ourselves stimulated in the bedroom... if you know what i mean... watching dale suck his stomach in, then push his stomach out! HAHA HAHA! do it again, dale!! on the third day we grabbed a 6-pack, jumped behind the wheel and started driving to the resort for the wedding! dale kept me sober by getting smashed along the way but we were not too drunk to stop off and pay our respects to mr. juan rodriguez this must be the "god of the forest" to some heathan tribe's religion... i think they call it "catholicism"... heeeeyyyoooo!!! aaww running on a deserted beach makes dale so happy! oooo but the crashing waves make dale so scared! here we are watching the lovely couple wed... don't our eyes look lovely in the blinding sunlight? they did it smack in front of the ocean. the weather was sticky, humid and gross, but the location was visually stunning. a cage of butterflies await their fate. ripping the wings off butterflies must be a puero rican wedding tradition their first kiss! so this little guy will never fly again... at least it found its way to the heavenly bliss of my seat before reaching its end the beach behind us was deserted and the color of the ocean was just gorgeous with my first of many sangria's, i was as gorgeous as the ocean we needed a cover shot for my new porn flick, "Puerto Jizzo 7!" (hitting stores out on valentine's day) i can't tell which is fruitier, dale or his drink! ha ha! wheeeuuuwwww!! this pussy's black fur rubbed against my salty, sweaty body all night long you can take the student out of her MBA classes, but you can't take the class out of this MBA student! maybe when all of our significant others wise up and dump our asses, we can be roomies again! here's where we took our barefoot moonlight stroll during the reception... here's also where i stepped in dog sh*t during said romantic stroll. but don't worry about me, happy couple... i'll just squeeze the sh*t out from between my toes in the fountain... we woke up on our last day for a morning horse ride along the water and in the almond forest this cave was used in the war or something... check out mu boobs! goodbye puerto rico!